absorbed by lust!!

Control all forgotten,

next to you,

on this huge bed,

all spent and exhausted;

Now you lie there,

with tousled hair,

I wanna touch,

sleep I don't wanna disturb;

Eyes scorching with heat,

just minutes before,

clouded in lust,

where I saw myself lost,

now closed peacefully;

Touch me,

my brain screams,

every part of my body,

anticipating your touch;

Awake and possessing my lips,

which are yielding to your kiss,

body all hard and soft,

in contrast;

Spinning room,

hands in hurry,

mouth everywhere,

love nowhere,

I surrender,

to YOU, LUST OVERTAKING ME....

boy who never lived

Flies swarming over,

pool of blood surrounded,

not a man in sight i see

only a boy surrendered;

Books and magazines,

had never he read,

paper paper,

he sold instead;

Right to education we talk about,

what about humanity i was lost in thought,

deserved to be noticed,

at-least, abandoned rather was he;

HELP i wanted to shout,

FEAR of consequences,

stopped me short;

Weird glances was all people could spare,

where one life ended before it could fare,

doubts like dragon fire blasted me off;

I turn around,

like any living being,

and walk past this boy,

who never lived,

chances taken.. none to answer

the self respect he had;

I am human after-all

I console myself

not perceiving

so was HE!!!!

heart of ice

times which are good

flew past,

today i weep

in a tide of loneliness,

and you aren't here;

known you for ages,

only to lose you now

do i have a person

to know me better ever???

sentiments never

akin to me

until realisation hit

and i lost you;

even if time heals

hurt inside

defies it;

stranded by the wound of us

i am stagnating,

all i can now is

write this ode to you;

heart of ice,

you thought i had,

melted now,

when you have conveniently

left me alone forever;

if this is your idea

of enlightening me,

i accept,

life is never the same....

how to name it??

was i the ray of hope

you saw,

now, no more i matter,

life ahead, do i see

when you live behind me;

explanations thou shall seek,

for words i dont conceive;

the race

of emotions that you fail to see;

mistakes lie beneath,

pick on them to hurt,

impact is all we see,

ah!

if tomorrow ever comes;

tears heal say some,

bleeding wounds somewhere deep,

scars remain,

years later;

and now shall i search,

another,

for words i crave to hear,

never came did they??

manipulation convenient,

expressions forgotten,

opportunities not sought,

dead on my feet i say,

i find myself sinking,

abyss of emotion,

problems trivial, contributed,

myriad of doubts,

i ever had;

surrounded with many,

and still alone,

when my pen find this piece of paper,

poem that i write,

difference would it make??

"apologise" is the nuance of escape,

have i heard,

communication i fail,

understanding is all i need;

reasons to laugh, i look out,

twitch is all i can do about,

all in the open arms,

where i yearn to rest;

my plea of desperation,

to sort things out,

but will it happen?

when we know,

we are past the phase,

evasiveness we hardly shared,

stands tall blocking my exit,

all that i can think now!!

destination comes by,

i dont reach,

SCABS OF LIFE HAUNT ME....

still seeking

Gone are the days,

when Indians were proud of themselves,

leave alone culture and tradition;

These aren't the days,

any-more where elders have a role to play,

in families, nuclear all the more..

Destinies none to be predicted,

which people hardly believe in

ambitions and goals are alternatives taken;

Run for money, greed swallowing

joy and peace, lay forgotten, untouched,

ray of hope nowhere,

lightening of power strikes past, aye,

Parties, clubs discos, replacing;

the trend of modern era

of indians, who had had sought with virginal belief,

the ultimatum,

Now here we are,

dwelling and muddling with the present,

thinking of past,

worrying future;

And here are we isolated

not taking pride of what is left??

or.. are we.. waiting for Obama to campaign about it, nevertheless;

Oh!! mother India dying her slow,

slow death indeed..

and as we are stranded, in our own

romance, divine of materialistic luxury,

without adhering,

LIFE AFTER DEATH..

RAINS IN CHENNAI....

i walk down the lane..

i find that it is no more the same.

the rain lashed roads..

drenched barks of age old trees..

lush green moss on them

i see...

the bad roads with potholes,

brim with dirty waters,

raincoats of different colours,

bus stand filled with varied people..

the tea shops at the corner,

crowd around it,

the smell of cardamom in whiff,

aroma of hot molaga bhajjis..

along it comes..

the black current skies of ECR,

welcoming high turfs of the bay,

smell of salt..

and fish...

redolence of coffee in the streets of mylapore,

beauty of "maa kolam" on tar roads...

the vendors on streets,

buses splashin water on pavement,

gushing traffic,

stagnant waters....

i step out to venture,

to experience,

rains in chennai...

something to think about..

IPL FEVER...... everywhere... wow.... too much of glamour... and too much of cricket ( not exactly)

and too much of money...

well.. when i was thinking of the money involved i had another stray thought... WHERE ON EARTH DID THESE PEOPLE GET SO MUCH OF MONEY FROM???????

when i tried to quote this in as a fb comment a guy argued saying "blame the govt and not the RICH PPL" a completely dubious thing to say... and shows the complete irresponsibility of this guy... on the society where he lives in...

seeing it fairly... IPL is a influenced primarily from EPL.... no:1 they haven't changed the format of the game... which gives a complete game blow... no:2 they aren't any developing nations in there...

where as the scenario is completely vice versa in a country like india... with 42% of the population below the poverty line... that is people dnt even have 21.6 bucks to fend their hunger....

the sad state of affairs is that people dnt wanna come ahead to help them... instead people are soooooooooooo concerned from getting their asses safe...

and people of my generation wants to blame our govt.... i dnt defend the govt.... but what can the govt do if the rich of this country are determined to keep the money in black and in swiss bank and refuse to pay taxes???????? with 42% of the ppl being below poverty line...

As of 2006 survey of tax payers... only 31.5 million out of the more than a billion population have paid taxes...

wow amazing... people will keep ending up on streets...

and india would still be a developing country even after 50 yrs... and what are we gonna do as citizens?????? sit back and blame the govt??? how dumb...

People of today dont give a shit about whats around them as long as they arent harmed...

and cricket being the most famous sport in the mainland people often spend all their money to cheer their cities... and ultimately this happens every year...

and where on earth are we heading to?????????

god...

this is insane... and atrocious... so ppl pls open ur eyes and say no to the eye wash happening around you......

OUR COUNTRY IS IMPORTANT.... WE CANT JUST LET PEOPLE RULE IT... AFTER ALL WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A DEMOCRATIC NATION..........

what lies beneath

i got up this morning to discover myself at a place closer to my aunt's place... a place where there was this asylum.... ofo... i was one among them there... which complete insane ass brought me here?????????? i try to remember.... i am jus not able to.... i strain... my eyes watering in that effort i discover something... i realised i had a dream.....

well it was about the new powers lord venkatesha gave me some time back... wen during one prayer i asked him why so many ppl are suffering... and he appeared before me and said.... "okay... i give u the power to undo mistakes and cure sorrows of ppl... u try to save as many ppl as u want"... well what a strange dream... i wanted to check if it was true... i went out and took my computer notebook out... took out the page where i had written a program to which the system never ceased to show the pages of errors.... i jus' run my hand over it.... and i find that mistakes trying to correct themselves...... oh bloody gawd of heaven...!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my dream was true.........

okay... kewl i say to myself.... I AM GONNA SAVE THE WORLD...

with that i start my mission.......

but hw on earth did i end up in an asylum of all things if i was saving the world?????????????

oh............

i strain myself to remember when the doc comes in with his injection.... sheeeshh i hate needles........ i yell at him saying that i was not mad.... he looks at me with an evident smirk on his face which clearly said " most of them tell the same thing at the start... but eventually we turn them crazy..........." huh???????????? what on earth does that mean am still sane or have they turned me into a mimbo jimbo.... yiieeekkksss....... i pray to the lord.... oh pls... help me with this.........

then i remembered again...

that computer paper....... goddamn.........

i was in the exam hall to discover i was smug realising the fact i corrected all answers in my paper...... only to see my best buddy in the hall crying over the paper..... shit.... i pitied her....

i corrected hers too... only to realise that i had corrected answers for every1 in the hall.... wow...

feeling happy i get out....

the same happened exam after exam....

the dept heads weren pleased... well... i dint do a mistake......

i said to myself.....

i stopped gng to the temple or even to think abt him....

I HAD POWERS i said to myself........

and i tried to act smart.... getiing a job with exceptional salary and a nice place to live in.....

i forgot every1.... my frenz.... my parents.... relatives.... well wishers.... every1.......

i was on my own... a big name....

then it happened all of a sudden.... my own partner ditched me...

he branded that i stole goods....

that i was trading with the wrong ppl....

made me look like a complete fool... jus to take his hand on my company.......

even when i tried to make the mistake right... i wasn able to.......

thats hw i ended up here.............

i look up at the doc.... and ask him abt my partner........

he says "noone in this eternity is with such a name.... you never had a partner at all....."

WHAAAAAATTTTTTTT?????????????????????????

what the hell... i try to recollect his face... i am not able to....

i take my purse to see the pic we took together......... it is devoid of him....... dammit........

i try remembering........

i look at the doc again....

he is smug....

not worth the powers is it??????

whattttttt????

hw does he know that.... he injects me jus as i realise it was him the almighty....... i apologise to him when he injected me into the further world...

the world for sinful beings like me.................

goshhhhhhhhhh

i get up as some1 splash water onto my head.........

i get up.... not remembering the dream.... jus working as to hw to solve my computer program.... i bathe and stand in front of the lord... askin him... "why do ppl suffer........................

ethical development nonsense..........

hmmmm where do i start????

okay i will relate an incident... it is simple... i spoke to a guy and he used abusive language....

well thats because i gave him an honest opinion on a subject... well he asked for it... but he was pretty not the brave sort to take it i guess... and he started to damn accuse me of my character... as though he knew me that well... then i abuse him pretty much equally and was done with it...... what i really dont understand is.... guys... they dont like gals who got guts... and their ego comes into play.... and they can nvr take insults or comments without throwing it back on some1... why are guys sooo damn pussy?????? well not all guys are though.....

guys want gals to be forward thinkers in many folds... they want gals to think forward in speakin to them... have pre-marital relationships or even being infidel in some cases... why cant they take any personal comments frm a gal lightly??? in that area men are still men... they can nvr change... they think they hold the upper position in family, work place and even in bed.....

ha!!!!!!!!!!!! what egoistic ppl...... when women have come all the way and improved on every shackle of life.... cant the weak hearted guys??????

and ppl write books abt ethical development nonsense..... when guys start to devolop ethics from home.... every1 can be a forward thinker in their own way......

nuisance or new sense???????

well........

wat can one say when ppl in the name of helping ppl jus strew them into worser situations... if u are wonderin as to who on earth i am talkin abt then... i will fend ur curiosity... it is our metropolitan traffic rules.........

sheeshhhhhhhh

from the way they have drafted the new traffic rules.... me being a person well versed with the routes am jus befuddled.. disoriented and dazed at the way the roads have turned into a jig saw...

i am startin to feel that i would rather solve chemical equations to this... they seem to have a better solution... jus a week back i took my car out to pick one of my relative frm her place... the next day i take the same route jus to discover "TAKE DIVERSION" sign blinkin brightly in a horrid green colour.... squirming in my seat cursing the metropolitan traffic rules... detesting them completely....

i was under the impression that traffic was to help ppl commute easily and better... ahem... somehow it doesn satisfy both... it jus drives every1 crazy...

all the small roads are brimming with vehicles whereas the large and spacious ones are completely free... how can the govt. devise such a traffic program which is complete nuisance to the public in every possible way...

to public ears it is said that most of this is in favour of every big named jewellery and other shops... and also in order to reduce the traffic claims in roads adjacent to all the politicians homes....

so are they the only human souls who are allowed to live at peace of all forms????

ha!!!!

are all these changes gonna make any NEW SENSE or are they gonna continue to be A NUISANCE...

cant we make a change????.

it seemed a very fine day as i took time outta my hectic routine to visit my friends... taking the distance into account i asked an auto driver who ruthlessly quoted the price leaving me slightly giddy on the pavement... sooner i realised if i take a public transport it would make one tenth an expense... as expected i found the bus so crowded... i tried to squeeze myself inside... i realised it was jam packed and not even an inch space to breathe... it was when i tried to gulp some air turnin my face around did i notice something... there was this small kid of around 10 or 12 years... standin with her school bag in the bus... and right behind her a guy of around 40... toying her backside... i was repulsed.... i saw that the girl was squirming to be out of the place... sad plight.... luckily i tried to take the situation into hands by pulling the gal in front me and i took her place... making use of the fact that the bus was crowded i landed my high heeled slipper comfortably on his foot not in the least bit apologising... i did that atleast thrice before the guy cleared off....

then i thought of the land we are actually heading to... not all parents can afford private transport to their kids.... makin them travel by public transport they try pulling down the expenses... and people try to take such situations into their hands trying to abuse kids no more than 15.... that too guys who are older by atleast 30 yrs.... what a crumple in the society...

if every person in the younger generation try to pay attention to whats happening to the kids around instead of pulling our head totally into work and avoid being so self centered we can easily nudge such horrible creatures out of the society...

after all we might have a kid of the same age in our own family.........

a serious thought to be made...

pls make one.

prevent child abuse...

your tiny action might save the world...

a thought for every youngster